The little boy

The little boy stood outside the gates, alone, wondering if any of his friends ever would come back to look for him. He wasn't disappointed and didn't feel let down, just a little bit sad and – alone. It wasn't that long ago they had met regularly, sometimes at his place, sometimes at their places. They had shared good and bad times. Sometimes laughter, sometimes tears, sometimes they had discussed deep matters – as deep as a small boy is able to discuss. He kept reminding himself it wasn't that long ago, but no matter how much he reminded himself it felt long ago and he could not help fear it had been too long.

He wasn't lost, he knew where he was, but he felt lost. Maybe because he realised he might have lost something. Maybe because he didn't know whether to go or stay, and if he chose to go, what direction he should take? Most of all he missed his friends. He suspected they had been back to look for him several times, but finally had given up hope of him returning. It wasn't the first time he had disappeared for a while, but never for so long as this time. He really couldn't, and didn't, blame them for not being there when he finally turned up.

He looked around, the place was so familiar, and yet if felt strange, abandoned, almost like a ghost town. Everything looked as he remembered it, but he could not suppress the feeling that it had changed. Maybe it was in a dream he had been there and therefore the real now seemed unreal? Confusion and doubt began to grow in him as he looked around. Maybe it all had been something he had imagined. Suddenly he realised what was wrong. It had not been a dream; everything had been just as he saw it now. The difference was the absence of life. Before there had been life and that had made everything appear different. Now it was just a dead and dusty construction, with no pulse, no tension, and no development.

He wondered what to do. He could of course just walk away, but he did not feel ready to give up all hope of seeing them again. On the other hand he couldn't stay outside the gates forever to be sure he would be there if anyone came by. He had tried to go round to their places, but they also seemed abandoned – at least one had totally disappeared. As he pondered he kept looking around. Several times he thought he saw a contour in the distance, but it was just his imagination. Finally he realised what he could do. He would leave a sign that he had been there. Most people would never notice it, but they would, if they came by. And surely, if they saw it they too would leave a sign, to let him know they had been there. But what if they did? He still wouldn't be there. Slowly a plan, he was tempted to call it a strategy formed in his mind. He would leave a sign and then come back a week or two later to see, if anyone had noticed it. If they had, he would begin to come back regularly. If not, he would understand that things and people had moved on and so should he.

The plan was clear and simple. He looked around a final time and then walked back towards the gates. He felt encouraged and hopeful, but at the same time apprehensive. What if no one would notice? What if it was over and he was just avoiding the inevitable? He shook his head, as if to get rid of the negative thoughts and again felt almost excited. He smiled as he walked through the gates, already considering what to do when he returned, if someone had noticed his sign, that is. He wasn't sure, but just the chance that someone would was enough for now. Time would tell. He was determined to come back and look one more time. The decision had been made. Now it was all up to them he thought, as the gates closed behind him.

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One of them

Today I become one of "them". I have always been one of "us", but that is no more to be, at least not for the foreseeable future. As we walk through those doors in a few hours we leave "us" behind. I have walked through the doors often in the past, but always both going in and coming out as one of "us", but today "them" will zap us at the threshold. Wonder whether it actually is us leaving "us", or rather "us" leaving us, since we from now will be perceived as one of "them"?

Officially of course, neither "us" nor "them" exist. It is all "we". We all know that "they" only are where they are for practical reasons and always only to support "us" – officially that is, but in reality it another matter or is it? Is is "them" that creates "us", or is it maybe "us" that creates "them"? Is it really "us" that needs a "them", because it moves responsibility and focus away from "us" and therefore it is in our interest to create a "them"?

The strange thing is, I would expect, that as I become part of "them" I will also realise that "us" becomes "them" and "them" become "us". You see "they" also need a "them" so "they" can convince themselves that is not with "us", but with "them" the responsibility, and therefore the problem, lies. It is all strange really. Doesn't Paul say that there is neither "them" nor "us", but we all are one in Christ?

Anyway, it is today we start our new job at Territorial Headquarters. It is a strange feeling. Still cannot really understand it. For some officers this probably is what they dream of, I just hope it won't turn out to be a nightmare! We definitely will bring our poster with us. The poster that has followed us since Latvia asking the question "Why are you not a corps officer?". Not everyone likes the poster, maybe because they feel challenged by it, but more than anything else I hang it in my office to challenge myself. The local corps is the most important part of The Salvation Army and if for some reason I am not a corps officer, I better make sure I invest my time, gifts and talents in such a way that it makes a positive difference for those who are.

The challenge is big, but so is God. He has never let us down yet. We know that there is no way we, in our own strength, can make any significant difference, but with God all things are possible.Your prayers will be very much appreciated.

Time to get ready to leave. Watch this space as stories of our lives as HQ officers soon will appear.

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Please, God?

A chilling feeling ran down my spine and I felt my muscles tighten as I the other day read about how a Danish boy had fallen of a cliff in Norway and died. He was hiking with his father and they had stopped for a photo. As the boy posed for his father to take the photo he stepped up on a rock, which was loose. He lost his footing and fell of the cliff and died. I cannot imagine how the father must feel, I don't even want to think how I would feel in a similar position, but my reaction was more than just empathy. I have a friend, who has 2 sons and I know he sometimes have taken them to Norway, I think most of the time skiing, but I seem to remember hiking too. For a split second I was afraid it was him and his son I was reading about and my immediate reaction was to mutter "Please, God, let it not be them".

As soon as I have said those words I was challenged in my spirit about them. What was it that I was praying? That God should make sure it was a family that I did not know that had suffered this tragedy? I quickly realised that was a very selfish and ungodly prayer. It would be more comfortable for me, if the victim was unknown, but the pain and despair felt by a family would be the same, whether known to me or not, and the grief felt by God would be exactly the same. I had to repent and instead pray that God would comfort and strengthen the family, who ever they were, and help them to somehow overcome their grief and loss.

After thinking about this prayer immediate prayer a couple of times I think I have come to the conclusion that the two words "please" and "God" should not be joined. Just like "No" and "Lord" does not go together, neither does "please" and "God".

When is "please" used? Apart from being courteous and well behaved, isn't it used when trying to make people do things they might not really want to do? When we come to God, we come to him as his children. Any parent have experienced their child asking for something, and when not quite sure you were about to meet their request they have added a "please" or maybe even a "pleeeease". That has nothing to with being well behaved or courteous; it is either begging or trying to manipulate so you can get what you want.

That is not how we should approach God. Our Heavenly Father already knows what is not only good, but best for us and he loves to bless us. We do not need to beg or manipulate him. There is no need for a "pleeeease", unless of course we are not seeking his will and what he sees is best, but what we want, regardless of whether it really is God's plan or will. Maybe that can be used as a guideline: If we feel the need to add a "please" to our prayer, maybe we should ask ourselves who's will and kingdom it is we are seeking.

Does that mean we cannot present our needs and even wishes to God? Of course not, but we do it, not with an attitude as if God is difficult to get something from and therefore we need to manipulate him to give us what we want, but with the attitude that we are approaching our heavenly and exceedingly generous Father, who cares for us and loves to bless us. We present our requests, not with manipulation and begging, but with thanksgiving (Phil. 4: 6) and let his peace fill us as we are assured of his love and providence.

This is not to say we cannot continue to present our prayers to God or cannot battle in prayer. We can and should persevere and battle in prayer, but also remember we are not battling against God, but together with God, and as the Imperials sang a long time ago, "God and we always have the majority".

Let us be bold and confident. Let us bring our request, big, small or huge, to God with thanksgiving knowing he is good and always wants what is best for us. Let us persevere and battle in prayer till we see God's Kingdom break through, but let us not be selfish or manipulative when we come to God.

Please?

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Flashback

Yesterday was a good day. Even though we still are on holiday, or furlough as it is supposed to be called in the Army, I still have to get up before 7 to get Lukas up and ready for school, which starts at 8 AM. Maria is also staying with us. She has got herself a summer job as a relief worker at a nursery, and yesterday she also had to get up early. When I had got them both out of the house I was seriously considering going back to bed, although I ought to get some work done on an essay. Before I had the chance to choose between those two options, Maria returned. There were problems with the Metro and although her question was phrased as "What shall I do?" she was really asking "Will you take me in the car, Dad?". Off we went. The nursery is on Amager, an island which is part of Copenhagen. It is also where I grew up as a kid, so it was like a trip down memory lane.

After I returned I spent the next couple of hours reading and going through notes for my essay. I re-part part of Eddie Gibb's "Church Next", a book I would recommend to anyone in Christian leadership, and also "Organic Community" by Joseph R. Myers, another thought provoking book and tried to get to grips with the structure of my essay. Went for a bike ride in the afternoon. I am considering setting a target of a certain distance I want to ride every week. In Manchester I could ride to work (15 km each way), but here the distance from home to the office is only 1 km, not enough to get your pulse up. Managed 15 km at a good speed and felt good, and hot when I returned. And then it was I had a flashback. Lukas and Lisbeth was sitting in the living room working on Lukas' home work in history. Lisbeth handed over to me. Her knowledge of Danish history is undoubtedly better than mine, but since her cooking also is a whole lot better, I accepted the challenge. It was hard work for Lukas. Not only did he have 15 questions to answer, based on 12 pages in his history book, he also had to both read and write in Danish. As we sat there, answering questions concerning the plight of workers in Denmark in the first half of the 19^th century, the thoughts of Karl Marx and the beginning of the Social Democratic Party in Denmark Lukas suddenly said: "I am not sure I can manage this. All this homework every day. Learning to play a brass instrument Wednesday afternoon and delivering commercials Friday. I think it will be too much."

It was then I in my thought was transported back to flat 12 in Bruninieku street in Latvia. It was also the second week of school and Maria was ready to throw in the towel and go back to Denmark. There was a lot of homework, and everything in a strange language (that time it was English). Even the maths homework needed to be translated, so she could understand it. Now Lukas, although not quite as emotional about it as Maria had been (to be fair, she was some years younger then than he is now), was at the same stage. I could sympathise with him and maybe even felt a slight twinge of guilt for the things we put our children through, but was glad I could share the story about Maria, who ended up doing quite well (that is Danish understatement) in school. Don't know if it made am impression, but we managed to press on a finish all the questions. Wonder what the homework will be today? I hope it is something I will be able to understand.

The subject introduced us to the word proletarians and also bourgeoisie. I must have read it somewhere, can't be my own thought, but I did put forward that yesterday's proletarians are the bourgeoisie of tomorrow. Thinking about it this morning I realised that usually the radicals of yesterday are the establishment of tomorrow. What a horrible thought. Wonder if there is anyway of being an established radical or if we might as well just give in, accept a role as the established, protectors of the past and existing and therefore the persecutors of the radicals? Guess I soon will find out.

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Waiting for my soul

It is Saturday morning, have an hour to waste before going for the annual family outing and it is raining, so it seems like time to get going with the blogging again. We have now been back in Denmark for 4 weeks and I have lost count of many visits we have made to IKEA in that time, not one IKEA but two, one on either side of the city, once or twice we have gone from one straight to the other, because the one we had chosen had run out of whatever it was we were looking for, several times we have declared it was the last visit to IKEA, if not ever, then for a long time, just to find ourselves there again after a day or two.

For most of this time I think we have felt like the Native American, who after his first journey with a stage coach sat down on a bench at the station when he got off, seemingly doing nothing for a long while. When asked what he was doing his reply was "I am waiting for my soul to arrive". It has felt, actually still feels strange to be here. The other week Lisbeth had this feeling of: That was a nice holiday, I am ready to go home now – but of course this is home now. Just doesn't quite feel that way yet.

We are still on holiday for another week, maybe that is one of the reasons it still does not feel real, but Lukas has just finished his first full week of Danish school. Not surprisingly he seems to be coping fine. Two other boys entered the class this year, so he was not the only new kid on the block and one of the boys in the class turned out to be half English, so there was someone to talk to as well. Add to this that at least one his classmates is a Liverpool fan and things begin to look quite well. He seems to be enjoying not having to wear any school uniform, but it is of course tiring to do all lessons in a "new" language.

Lukas also decided he wanted to get a job and applied for one as a distributor of printed commercials (of which you receive a lot in Denmark!). The day after he had posted his application the company called and asked if he could start 2 days later, so yesterday he, with a bit of help from me, spent 3 hours delivering commercials to 150 households in the area where we live. There are a lot of stairs to run up and down, but it will secure him a steady income of his own money. It is only once a week, either Friday afternoon or Saturday morning, so it is to be preferred from when Andreas started working, delivering news papers every Saturday and Sunday morning, beginning at 5 AM!

Apart from assembling furniture we also managed to spend a week in Jylland visiting friends and family. It as good to meet up with them again and nice to be away, but at the same time we could not stay away too long because we wanted to get home and finish the apartment.

When we came home from the trip to Jylland the intention was to use the 2 weeks before starting our new jobs working on essays for our studies. One week has now gone, I haven't seen Lisbeth doing any work on her essay, and I know I haven't done any, but there is still a week to go, so we can still make it.

A question we have been asked often lately is "How does it feel to be home?" The answer varies (depending on who is asking), but "strange" or "un-real" appears quite often, as well as "It does not feel like being home yet". I suppose that is how it feels every time you move, but somehow the expectation is that when you return to your own country (after 9 years in our case), it should feel different. Well, in many ways it doesn't. There is not the sense of adventure, as when you go to somewhere you never have been before, nor the enriching experience of meeting a lot of new people, but otherwise it is not that different in one way. In another way it is very different: The last 2 times we have moved we did not know anyone where we were going and no-one knew us. We all started from scratch, with no expectations nor pre-conceived opinions either way. That is different now – and I think I prefer it the other way! Have not spent a lot of time reflecting on it, but if I were to compare where I am just now with a Biblical figure, then I think it would have to be Jonah, still contemplating whether I can find a ship out of here somewhere!

Today it maybe should be Noah, as it has been raining all morning. I was supposed to bike to our family outing, but might have to reconsider. I actually would prefer to bike, so I am hoping for a change of weather within the next 45 minutes, not that I really mind, but it might not be appreciated if I sit damping wet round the table, constantly sneezing.

I am really beginning to waffle, so it is time to stop (I know I really started waffling during the first paragraph). It won't be long before I return with titles like

Please, God?

Why am I doing this?

A change of theology

But for now I bid you farewell.

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Still here

“Just give me 10 seconds. I just need to press send” I had let the guy from the cable company in and he was heading towards the living room to dismount our cable box and, my serious, also the modem. I had jus finished my last blog entry and wanted to post it before he cut of our internet connection. Turned out he didn’t need to take the modem, he was just going to throw it away anyway and so we got a few more day of connection, before the account is terminated. This gives me the chance of a quick update of the last week or so:


Saturday 27 June
Car Boot Sale. Joined up with Stretford Corps 7:30 in the morning and brought a lot of stuff we did not really need nor want to travel with. Sold almost all of it, some at ridiculously low prices, but at least we got rid of it. Left around 13:00, ready to sit down for a while and prepare for the next day.

Sunday 28 June
We all went to the service at Sale for the last time. The corps had unknown to us prepared a small farewell with three speakers from the groups we had participated in and a gift for each of us. Very kind of them. I got a dagger with my name ingrained. Apparently it is for opening mail (still trying to understand where it goes in the computer), but it looks a dangerous weapon – will keep it on my desk hoping it will intimidate people.

Sunday afternoon was the divisional farewell meeting for us. We had been kept totally in the dark about what was happening. The hall at Stockport Citadel was pretty full, they must have bribed people to come. The cringe factor was low. Lizzy, our youth officer, had prepared a presentation with some photos stolen from this blog (had never really intended for some of them to be shown in a public meeting!) and with various things people had said about us. It even showed Lisbeth and me dancing. If I have been successful in uploading it you should be able to see it here.

Otherwise it was Mel and Kath who spoke to Lisbeth and me highlighting 3 words each, which they thought characterised us. Lisbeth got a chance to respond and later I had to preach. I was totally stuck in my preparation, ended up preaching about something that was not on my paper at all.

It still does not feel real.

Monday & Tuesday 29-30 June
Coaching Workshop with Christoph Schalk. Had we know we were moving I probably would not have arranged it now, but we didn’t and we certainly did not want to cancel it. Was not an Army event, but 30-50 % of participants was from the Army. Went really well, although I could not concentrate on participating in all the break-out groups Christoph always uses. I pretended I knew it all and sat at the back with my computer sorting out mails etc.

Wednesday 1 July
Meeting with Christoph in the morning. Was incredibly hot and sticky, so we chose to sit at the airport, where the air condition is good. After 3 hours with Christoph it was off to the office. This would be the last time we both were in the office at the same time and with the other members of staff. They had prepared strawberries and cream and also a nice cake. Fortunately Mel is not much for farewells, so he said a few words and that was it. Reality is that not only us, but certainly Mel and Kath and maybe others in the office still have not understood this is really happening.
Stayed in the office until around 22:00, got most of my desk cleared. Have not done any real work on my brief yet.

Thursday 2 July
A day of lectures for my course. Still very hot, so went home and sat for an hour or so in the garden and then headed off to the office again for some more evening work. Got through my inbox (only have 7 mails left in it!) as well as my drawers. Still no work on the brief.

Friday 3 July
Lisbeth and I headed off towards London and commissioning, but the agenda for Friday was to meet up with Sarah, Aivis and Josh, who also are here for the commissioning. We met them on the quad at William Booth College, but while we were chatting we suddenly understood Heidie (our nice) and Richard also was around with Luke and new borne Neve. Not only that Lisbeth’s brother and sister-in-law was also there, so we left Sarah and Aivis for a while to meet up with family.

Had a great evening with Sarah and Aivis, eating and chatting. Was a good reminder that you don’t lose friend when you move, you actually make friends every time, friendships that outlasts any move or geographical distance.

Travelled through London in the evening to stay with colleagues who had moved from Manchester to London earlier this year.

Saturday 4 July
Commissioning. Went in early to London. Lisbeth actually wanted to go to HTB’s bookshop and I grudgingly agreed to come along. As we approached it Lisbeth gave me 30 minutes and then we had to leave again. Did it in less – it wasn’t open!
Took the tube back to Victoria, walked up to St. James park, bought a coffee on the way (It is official: I absolutely prefer Costa Coffee over Starbucks) and sat and looked at people walking by. When we came to Westminster Central Hall the area in front of it was packed with people. During the day we realised how many people we had got to know over this last 3 years. Was nice to have a chance to talk to them and say goodbye face to face.

The commissioning went really well. 5 cadets commissioned from the Central North Division and the of course Patrik and Hannah. Was great to be part of and a reason to thank God for his goodness. With all the cadets, 1. and 2. year, on the platform we could not help think that we had shared life and ministry with 5 of them in Riga – God is amazing.

It was very hot all day and at least the evening meeting went on for almost an hour too long, but it was a great day.

Sunday 5 July
Farewell meeting at for the new Lieutenants at the College. The assembly hall was packed. Good meeting and once more lot of people to talk to afterwards. Said goodbye to Sarah and Aivis and promised we would meet soon in Riga (a little like the Jews greeting each other with the words: Next year in Jerusalem) and then went for lunch with William, Edel, Richard and Heidie. Edel is a corps officer in Denmark, so it does bring reality a bit closer when we talked about the situation in Denmark.
We were going to see Andreas on the way home, but he would not finish work before 20:00 so we stayed for the welcome meeting for the new Chief Secretary. Not much to report. One of the DCs had to bring a greeting and chose to do it in a special written song – very funny and an absolute highlight. The CS preached and preached well.

After coffee and more chat with our Danish family we set of to meet Andreas. Picked him up at work and went to his place to pick up stuff we are bringing to Denmark to store for him. Stood outside and talked for a while and then set off toward the north. Could not believe the M25 could be congested at 21:30 Sunday night, but it was!

Made it home by 1:30 and went straight to bed.

Monday 6 July
Surprised to see we still have internet connection. Checked mails and read the papers. Realised the Tour de France have started and we have no TV connection, and probably soon no internet connection either. Bad planning. Decided to write for the blog. It was either that or starting to clear out Lukas’ room, but now I can’t procrastinate any longer – the house needs to cleared and the last boxes packed. In 7 days the removal company is picking up our stuff and 4 days later it will be in Copenhagen

Still doesn’t seem real, but the truth is beginning to hit home.

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And now it begins...

It is no good trying to deny it any longer, it is time to face up to the fact that soon we will be moving. It is fascinating how it is possible to have spent the last month or so packing, living the last week in a house with only the bare essentials still available and still not emotionally accepting that we are about to leave Manchester and Central North Division. But from today there it is not possible to deny anymore. In 3 hours Lukas and Maria are flying back to Denmark to attend the Territorial Summer School or camp. Lukas will go on to another camp, where he and a friend have asked to help and by the time he makes it back to Copenhagen we will be there too.

Within the next hour our internet provider will come to take away their equipment. This will mean no more internet or TV (we are did not want to pay for another month, when we only will be here half of it!), Sunday we had our farewell meeting (more about that in another post, need to get a file from our Youth Officer first), this afternoon we will have our farewell from the office. Don't know what they have prepared, but since we have to be in the office something must be going on......someone's at the door. Must be the guy from the cable company, will have to press publish now, in a minute our connection is gone.

I'll be back, don't know when, don't know where. For now I will keep writing until the connection dissap

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And God turned up

Another week (and a bit) has gone. We have now packed so many boxes that there is no more to pack before it is time to leave. Lisbeth has finished her essay on Spiritual Direction and I have taken a day off to write on my essay on small groups (I managed to set up the document and enter a few headlines!). Maria has finished her last exam and a few hours later she flew to Dublin to meet up with friends she met in Canada last year. They are backpacking Eire, Wales and will end up in London next week. And then we participated in the Holy Spirit away day at an Alpha course....

It was not really an away day, as the day was held at the corps, but it certainly ended as a Holy Spirit day. The format was simple: Three talks on the Holy Spirit (Who is the Holy Spirit? – What does the Holy Spirit do? And How can I be filled with the Holy Spirit?), two small group discussion and lovely lunch and then time to let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit. Nothing wild, no manipulation, no shouting, just giving the Holy Spirit and people time and possibility to connect. At the end we had a "testimony time" asking people to wave their hands if certain statements were true for them. 2 people asked Jesus to become their Lord and Saviour for the first time, 2 people were healed, several people were filled with the Spirit and basically all testified to have been touched by the Spirit. There were a lot of smiles, laughter and some tears.

It carried over to the next day in the service we were told by the corps officer and the Monday evening, the usual Alpha evening, the place was buzzing. It was great to be a part of, but at the same time a bit strange because we came in as guests, gave the 2 of the talks, led the ministry time (but did not pray for people, apart from one for healing) and then left. I know you also leave all the trouble behind, but do miss being involved in people's faith journey, sharing life and faith with a community.

Together with a couple of classes from his school Lukas today spent the day at Chester zoo. We could not help smile and shake our heads when we realised he, and all the others, had to come in full school uniform for the whole day. It will only be 3 more weeks, then he will not even have to wear it to school. Wish I could say the same about work J

It took England 3 minutes to score the first goal against Andorra, I am sure there will be more goals, so I will stop here and concentrate on the TV.

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I’m on your journey

Another week is gone and we have had a great weekend to end it. It was immensely helped with the weather suddenly turning warm and sunny, so we have been able to sit out in the garden and have our meals, as well as read and, for my part, pretending to be studying while relaxing in the sun.

It is going the right way with the packing. Last weekend we managed to reach the goal of 15 boxes (over 3 days as Monday was bank holiday) and the goal for this weekend was 10. Did not make it, even though I packed while watching the FA Cup Finale. The real reason, apart from the fabulous weather, which didn't really motivate to stand inside, sweating over boxes, was that we were away most of the Sunday, leaving 8 in the morning and not being back before 18 in the early evening.

It was our last "specialling" Sunday in the Central North Division. This particular Sunday had been arranged for quite a long time and so it was not planned to be the last. It was in many ways a very special Sunday. One of the things that made it special was that the corps we were specialling at (the spell checker does not recognise "specialling" which leads me to believe it is one of these strange Army terms. For the uninitiated, specialling is what Headquarters officers do when the visit a corps (church) to lead and/or preach) this Sunday also was the first corps we visited on a Sunday after arriving in the Division. (Just in case you found that sentence difficult to read, then here it is without the brackets: One of the things that made it special was that the corps we were specialling at this Sunday also was the first corps we visited after arriving in the Division).

It was amazing. 2 ½ years ago it was a corps on its last lap. I felt young in the small congregation and it was difficult to imagine any future for the 12-15 people there. Yesterday it was difficult to believe it was the same corps. The congregation had tripled, the average age dropped significantly, 4-5 families, kids in all ages, as well as elderly people, some of them new both to the Army and to faith too. 4 Junior Soldiers were enrolled, each of them giving a simple testimony. The place buzzed with life. It was wonderful to see what can happen when God turns up. A couple of years ago the corps was in serious danger of being closed; now they can't keep up with the growth!

It was of course Pentecost, so the theme of the meeting was clear. We shared our own testimonies and finished of with a short (it really was short, you can ask Lisbeth if you don't believe me!). Lisbeth had prepared small card board "flames" which had been placed on each seat. For the response we invited people, after having listened both to testimonies and preaching about the Holy Spirit, to write a prayer or what they wanted to say to God on the flame, and then come forward and stick on the front of the platform above the mercy seat. We ended up having a mercy seat on fire! I did not read all the prayers, was not really for me to do, but one caught my eye: "I'm on your journey" it said very simply. Isn't that great? Someone has started journeying with God, realising it is his journey, but also that there is more to come. Thank God for Christians, who are willing to journey with people, who build relationships without expecting perfection from them, who let people take their time, and does not abandon them even if the journey takes time.

While we have no more Sunday engagements (we might actually make it to our own church the coming Sunday), we are leading an Alpha Away Day next Saturday. We are doing 2 of the 3 talks on the Holy Spirit and also leading the last session with prayer. This will be the first time we ever are part of any Alpha sessions, so it is a bit daunting. Last week I was at the corps giving some teaching on "Ministry on Alpha". It is a long time since I have been asked to share about how to pray for people and I really enjoyed it. We finished of with a time of ministry, doing the stuff as John Wimber would have said and it really is true: When you ask the Holy Spirit to come, he comes!

Please pray for us and everyone on the Alpha Away Day on Saturday. Pray people will respond to the Holy Spirit. That some people will be saved, more will be filled with the Holy Spirit and all will experience the presence and power of Jesus. This is a corps that could be on the verge of a major breakthrough, and it is to be expected that there will be resistance in the spiritual world, so your prayers will be much appreciated. We will update on how the day went in a weeks time.

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An update - finally

I knew I had not blogged for a while, and I was reminded of it from various people, but not that it was more than a month ago I posted something last time. Time flies is a cliché, but nevertheless that is what that month has done. While waiting to be told what our next appointment would be it seemed like time stood still, since we found out what it will be and also where we will live, time has rushed past us, but we are still here; alive and well. Today is a bank holiday, this strange term the British use for a day when everyone is off. My plan for today is packing. Need to pack 7 boxes today to reach my goal of 15 for the weekend. Yesterday was a fabulous day, sunshine all through the day. It was almost the first day this year we could spend in the garden, but today it is supposed to be back to normal, that is rain, although just now the sun is shining and the sky is blue, still packing it will be, come rain or come sunshine.

As you already have guessed from the introduction this is going to be a post under the "waffle" label, but hopefully it at least will get the Blogging Police of my back. So what is new with the Andersens?

4 weeks ago we finally received our appointments as Field Secretary and Associate Field Secretary for the Denmark Territory. Since then I have received a few jokes in the line of that sounds very organic or whether we are going into farming. I did not particularly like the designation Director for Evangelism because it did not give the full picture, but at least it was somewhat understandable, but field secretary? Can you imagine meeting a parent at your child's school and answer Field Secretary to the answer of what you do for a living? Anyway, that is only the title (it is actually even worse in Danish, as "Felt" has no connotation to anything organic, but is purely an old military term for where the fighting goes on), but the appointment in it self probably could not have been better or more suitable. As we understand it (and we might of course have an abrupt awakening when we actually start) we will both have a chance of working with what we are passionate about and even trained in.

We will live just 2-3 minutes walk from where we used to live in Copenhagen, or rather Frederiksberg, and a couple of weeks ago Lisbeth and Lukas went to Copenhagen in order for Lukas to go and see his new school. It is the same school Andreas and Maria went to, and the visit went really well – although Lukas had to adjust to the fact that the teacher he met wore jeans and T-shirt and was referred to by her first name. I don't know about Lukas, but that is one of the things I look forward to, coming back to the informality of the Danes, no longer be referred to as "Mr. Andersen", but just "Henrik".

Lisbeth also had a chance to look at the flat we will live in. It is very nice, in a very nice area of Frederiksberg. Walking distance from headquarters, from shops, from Frederiksberg Park and from my mother. I can't wait to stop commuting and actually walking or cycling to the office. A gift of between 1 – 1½ hour of time every day (might get some blogging done!).

So how do feel about all this? We have been asked many times if we are happy to be going home and there is no easy or short answer to that. First of all home is here, so in one way we do not feel we are going home. It has been 9 years since we left and we are quite sure we will have to adjust and learn many new things, even if we (hopefully) still speak the language fluently. Secondly our feelings are mixed, or ambivalent (just wanted to use a fancy word). After thinking about it the standard answer now goes something like: We are happy about going, but not about leaving. For the last 2 appointments we ourselves made the decision when it was time to move on and there are different emotions when you have had no say in it. Doesn't necessarily mean we don't want to go, just that we are not quite ready to leave. That said, packing and ticking of "To do" lists kind of get you into the moving mindset, so we probably are more ready to leave now than 2-3 weeks ago. We still have another 5 weeks till we officially finish, a couple of essays to write (Lisbeth has two and she is working to keep her deadlines, me one, and the deadline was in January!), a couple of NCD related events to run and one last corps to visit on a Sunday. Lisbeth is also going twice to London for her studies, one of those for a week, and I am going down to THQ once more. A first will be we are participating and speaking at the Alpha Away Day in one of our corps. They have 27 people participating. Tomorrow night I will be doing some "ministry training" with them and then in a couple of weeks the actual weekend. Also here at least my feelings are mixed: I am looking forward to it, but also feeling a bit of pressure (entirely from myself), knowing how important in the process that day is. Have to keep reminding myself that it about what the Holy Spirit can do and not a all about us. An extensive brief for our successors also need to be written to make their life as easy as possible when they arrive. After that is time to clean the house thoroughly and head for Denmark. Lukas will leave earlier, to go home for camp. Means he will miss the a week or two of school here, but that is not really an issue any more.

Maria has decided she is going to stay in Manchester, get through the next two years and get her degree in History. She has not found a place to live yet, but will find out today about one good possibility. Just now she is busy with her exams, to the extent of getting up 6 AM to study, even during weekends. She has finished a couple. They of course went terribly, at least if you ask her, but we will wait for the grades to get a more unbiased evaluation.

Maria also has started taking driving lessons – with me! She is doing really fine, and have reached the level where 30 miles seems slow – where a couple of weeks ago 20 miles was like flying. Last week she drove Lukas to football. Everything went well, but Lukas was convinced he could have walked faster. He was probably right, but it was due to traffic, not Maria's driving.

For Andreas our moving is not going to make a huge difference, maybe apart from giving him one more reason to visit Denmark. He is still busy working at Wentworth Country Club where they just have hosted the PGA tour this weekend, didn't see him on the TV though.

The sun is still shining and the sky still blue, so I think I will stop here and grab a coffee in the garden before start packing. See you – maybe not soon, but it won't be another month, I promise. Don't want to risk the Blogging Police to stand out side our door one day.

 

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I’ll go with you

I heard the words as I was looking out into the garden. I wasn’t really looking at anything, just standing by the window, still in a state of chock after the call I had just received. I had just been told The Salvation Army was sending us back to Denmark. It wasn’t a request, it was an order.

I desperately wanted to talk to Lisbeth, but she was away on a 3 day course and her mobile was switched off, so I was left on my own and with my own thoughts. They were many and confused, not a lot of linear or logical thinking. It was strange, because a week or two earlier I had had this feeling every time I sat down at my desk. No matter what I touched I had the feeling I was finishing it off, that I should get ready to hand it over. I had shared it with Lisbeth, but we finally shrugged it off.

Now it was happening and I was standing by the window. Amidst all my thoughts I asked God what to do, if this was his plan and expressed my concerns, both for trying to finish off, but also for whatever challenges might lie ahead. It was at this point I heard God speak, not an audible voice, but never the less a clear inner voice: Go, I’ll go with you. I would be lying if I said peace overflowed me at that point, but it did give me something to hold on to.

Lisbeth did not call me back before after lunch. I had been for a long walk, passing by the bakery to look for some comfort food, but was now on my way to the office for a meeting. As I was driving I was thinking how I was going to tell her. The phone rang and I pulled the car over. I’ve had a call from the Territorial Commander I began, but before I could continue Lisbeth jumped in: Yes, I know. We are going back to Denmark. In a split second a million thought flew through my head. How could she know? How had anybody reached her before me? The explanation came quickly: God told me this morning.

Lisbeth was at a Spiritual Mentoring course and this morning all participants had been told to go off on their own, try to empty their mind of any thoughts and just ask God to speak to them and he did, at least to Lisbeth. So when she called me, she already knew. All this meant we were very peaceful in midst of a lot of turmoil. Thoughts of how we would get ready to move, how we would handover the projects we were working on, how especially Lukas and Maria would react of course ran through our minds, but at the same time the peace that passes understanding, because God clearly had shown that he would go with us and that he was in all of this.

Since then that peace have been tested, and sometimes even disappeared. Instead of waiting a couple of days, we have now waited more than 4 weeks, and still do not know anything of where we will live, what we will do, where we can find a school for Lukas etc. The way this has been handled has not been the best, to put it mildly. I have begun writing several blogs about it, just to tear up the paper (metaphorically) because all that was coming out was negative and cynical and that is not how I want to be.

I am sure 2 things have kept us going, and more or less sane, through all of this. First the way God spoke to us. We are clinging to that even if things have gone wrong in The Salvation Army’s appointment system, then God is in control and he will never leave us or forsake us. Secondly some people must have been praying for us. I have not been able to pray a lot I must admit. Brief sentences here and there, but not much more than that. Have not been able to concentrate on anything for very long (have watched quite a number of episodes of The West Wing though) – so I am convinced others have carried us in prayer. If you are one of them: God Bless you. We are grateful and thankful for having you in our lives.

During an Easter service, where my mind for once wondered off, God reminded my that The Salvation Army can give and take away appointments, but it is God that gives you a ministry, which might, or might not, be directly related to whatever appointment you end up in. That restored some of my peace. We are not in the hands of fallible humans, who get it wrong sometimes, even with the best of intentions, but we are in God’s hands and know that nothing “will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord”.

We are still waiting for an update, but have reasons to believe this is the week we will be told. I still have not found answers to how in the world we will handover some of the projects we are just about to launch, but if God is in control, God is in control! A new chapter is about to start. Not quite sure what it will hold, have not read the end of the book either, but we know the author, and that is enough.

God is good – all the time!

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Waiting for an update

Maria is no longer a teenager, Lukas is in Denmark, Andreas is busy working and we are.....waiting for an update.

3 weeks ago today we were informed that we would be moving back to Denmark to take up an appointment 1 August this year and that the move would be made public 1 April.

I did strike me it could be a joke, because of the announcement date, but it wasn’t and there hasn’t been that much to laugh at since.

Initially we were very peaceful about the idea of going back to Denmark. We felt the Lord had prepared us for what was coming and sensed him saying: Go, I’ll go with you, but the development since has somewhat shaken that peace.

1 April came and went. It was announced we were moving, but no new appointment was announced and we had heard nothing from anyone. Just silence. Every day you thought “Today, before noon, they (who ever they are) will call”, then by noon you thought “Before four”, just to finally resign and accept it wouldn’t be that day either.

In 1 hour’s time it is exactly 3 weeks ago we received the initial phone call and since then no information has gone our way that can enlighten us as to why this clearly is not working out as planned nor really about our future.

I am convinced God is in control and He will never leave us or forsake us, but my trust in “they” is quickly disappearing. Although often critical, I think I always have tried to be loyal, but it is becoming exceedingly difficult. I have been critical of the appointment system for many years, this certainly hasn’t done anything to change that, although I am more and more wondering whether it is the system or the way it is handled?

True to form I ought to finish with a joke, but none comes to mind. Numbness is more evident, sometimes interceded with anger, as I observe the effect this whole farce is having on people I love dearly. I have to pray God will let no bitter root get hold of my heart, because I know it will spread and enslave me.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me”

We will keep you updated – that is if we are.

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I’m a disciple of Christ!

The silence only lasted a couple of seconds. Then the first stood up, the second followed a little while after and then the next, and the next, and the next. Finally more than half the young people were standing. It was moving and it was encouraging. I stood next to Lukas; we were both standing.

We had come to the end of what for some reason still is called Youth Councils. The day had started 11:30 with worship, followed by 3 sets of 3 seminars during the afternoon. You could choose between things like Bible study, jewellery, Wii, Essential Students and football. The day ended with a joint session with worship, a few games, but with a point to them, two really good testimonies, and then Lizzy, our youth officer, spoke. It was simple, it was good, it was genuine and it was powerful. The whole day, and the evening before, had been about discipleship, about following Christ, about obeying his call. I knew Lizzy had made key rings with the text "I'm a disciple" on and I kind of expected the response to the talk would be for people to come forward a take a key ring. It would have been trendy, but also a bit too easy, I thought. But Lizzy had other plans. She finished her talk, sitting on the steps up to the stage and then the challenge came: In a moment, if you feel God is calling you, if you want to follow Jesus and learn from him, then stand up and in a loud voice say...at that moment Lizzy put the microphone away, stood up and said, in a loud voice: "I'm a disciple of Christ". Then all went quiet. There was no music, no flashing lights, no fancy stuff. Just a room full of young people and a challenge hanging in the air. The silence only lasted a couple of seconds. Then the first stood up: "I'm a disciple of Christ", then the second "I'm a disciple of Christ". One by one we stood up: "I'm a disciple...I'm a disciple.....I'm a disciple......I'm a disciple of Christ". This was no easy cop out. This was young people, and a few of us not so young people, confessing that we wanted to follow Christ, to learn from him and to become like him.

At the end 2/3 thirds of the room was standing. Some were quite emotional, some for personal reasons, other us of us because of what we were witnessing. The worship band came forward and we spent the next while praying for young people as they came forward to be blessed and strengthened in their commitment. It all ended with everyone singing "One way – Jesus. You're the only one that I could live for" it was powerful. It was real. It was the best meeting I have been to while in the UK.

No they have all gone home. Tomorrow is when the real discipleship will begin. Following Jesus in a world that does not know him. I am sure I will not be the only one meeting tomorrow with a new key ring in my pocket. Just as a reminder....

I'm a disciple of Christ

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Deja vu

The other day I surfed into a blog page. It was a mixed experience. The lay-out was OK, although it seemed a bit lifeless, but there was some good content on the page. You had to look around to find it, but by investing just a little bit of time I discovered both good and thought provoking posts, sometimes even funny ones. I wondered why I had not found this blog before and at the same time felt I had been there before in a distant past. Something felt familiar. The most overwhelming feeling was of walking round a museum; a place, or in this case a blog which presented things and thoughts, which once had been alive and full of vitality, but now had been left as memories and monuments of the past. It irritated me. Why was there no life? Why had the blogger apparently just disappeared and left the blog on its own? As I was getting more and more worked up about it I realised, what you of course have realised a long time ago, that the blog was my own!

Not wanting it to degenerate into a museum and with the danger of having the blog police come after me, I decided straight away to post something – actually just anything that could give an impression of life, if not vitality. Only problem is that I might not remember my password! (If you are reading this then I did remember it. If you are not reading this.....then it is bit scary what is going on!).

I only have 7 minutes before I need to wake Lukas up, although I am sure he wouldn't mind if I did not keep the time, so here comes some quick and disjointed notes from the life of the Andersen during the last couple of months:

In January we went back to Denmark to celebrate my mother's 85^th birthday. We had a couple of good days with friends and family. On the Saturday all the family, but 2 grandsons, came together. The youngest was new born, the oldest was...well 85. The day before the house had been full of my mother's friends and colleagues from The Salvation Army. I several time heard conversations that went something like this: "We are getting old" (this was addressed to my mother and often in a context of failing strength, health or likewise) and my mother's reply everytime "Yes, but it is better than the alternative!"

As you might have seen we celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary in February, but what you might not know is that Lisbeth also sat an exam that very day! Fortunately it had been arranged so she could do it at DHQ in Manchester, but it still was kind of strange. We did manage to go away for a couple of days over the weekend. Went to Chester and just relaxed, walked around the town, drove through part of Wales and just enjoyed being together.

Not quite sure where February and March has gone. I went on a Coaching course with Christoph Schalk, Lisbeth did a 3 day course on Spiritual Mentoring. I attended a 3 days Cell Church Conference, while Lisbeth spent a week in London for here degree course. We had a Mission Day in the division with the theme "Authentic, Disciple making, Christian Communities" and we have met with corps officers and leadership teams for consultations and coaching. A couple of team days with the Evangelism Team (who are not evangelist!) thinking through a purpose and a day in London meeting with the leadership of The Salvation Army in the UK presenting Natural Church Development to them (I only was with them for 45 minutes, but spent the whole day in the building, waiting to be called in). A meal in London with 5 cadets who all has been appointed to our division from August.

Lisbeth hosted a planning day for a Baby Song training weekend, and then went to London to be part of the training weekend and last weekend we both went to Skien in Norway to preach at a Divisional Inspiration day.

Time flies, not only February and March, but this morning. Lukas got 5 minutes extra, but now I really have to run, otherwise I will be late in the office, and someone needs the pool car, which just now is parked outside our house (we also found time to order a new car – should be arriving during the next couple of weeks). Hope this quick update will satisfy most of the readers of this blog and I promise I will not wait another month before I return.

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On this day 25 years ago

“This is different” I told my friend as we sat at the pizzeria in the centre of Copenhagen, and I wasn’t talking about the pizza. I was referring to Lisbeth and my relationship to her. We had only been going out for a couple of months (that is Lisbeth and me, not my friend and I!), but I already knew she was something special.

Very traditionally we had begun going out at a music school and of course on the last day of the school. Since then we had not seen each other as we lived in different ends of the country. This is not to say we had not been in touch. The Danish Telephone Company had definitely benefitted from this new relationship, but the next day Lisbeth was coming to Copenhagen for the congress and we would finally see each other again. 2½ years later we married and the rest is history.

4 or 5 years ago, when it dawned upon us we actually were approaching an event we always had equated with middle age, we conceived a plan: To stay away from Denmark beyond our silver wedding! If you are not Danish you have to understand that a silver wedding is a huge celebration in Denmark. If we were in Denmark, I definitely would not be sitting here writing at this moment. The band would just have finished playing traditional Danish wedding and also morning hymns outside our house and the house would now be filled with guests (none of them invited!!!) stopping by at 7:00 in the morning to congratulate and then of course share breakfast with us (and yes, we would have REAL Danish pastry!) During the night our children would have decorated the front door, making sure everyone passing could see a silver wedding was being celebrated behind the door. In the evening you would expect to have a big party for friends and family with speeches and specially written songs for the occasion.

Our plan was to evade all this and we have succeeded. Today we will celebrate with having breakfast together and as Lisbeth is sitting her exam this afternoon, she will spend time revising one last time before we go to the office; Lisbeth to sit the exam, me to do what I always do in the office: move paper around and pretend I am working. We will go out for a meal tonight, but haven’t decided where yet and the plan is to go away for the weekend...although that is not planned yet either!

If we had been in Denmark, and if we would have a party, I would be expected to hold a speech for Lisbeth in front of friends and family. This of course will not happen and as a lot of that speech would have been ad lib, then you can’t see my notes, but I will, instead, in front of all 5 people occasionally dropping by this blog declare, that 25 years later, Lisbeth is still special. She is and always will be the love of my life. As any marriage we have had our ups and downs, times of extreme happiness and times of difficulty. As anyone being around us for just 5 minutes will know then we have very different personalities, and while that sometimes is a challenge, then it definitely has made our lives richer. I would not be who I am today if it was not for Lisbeth (and for the record: with this I mean I am a better person than I would have been!). Probably both Lisbeth and others reading this are now expecting the joke, the ironic comment, but it is not coming. Today I am truly celebrating the privilege of sharing my life with Lisbeth and looking forward to the next 25 years (and compared to the first 25 most of these will be without any children around – it just keeps getting better!) (oops, I couldn’t help it, there was that comment).

Well, it is time to run. Maybe I should get my cornet out and wake Lisbeth up with a traditional morning hymn? I am sure she would appreciate it. No, I think I will go and buy her flowers instead.

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Standing on level ground (Ps. 26:12)

I couldn’t believe my eyes – was this really the boys who hardly could get a ball across the halfway line last time I watched them? It was Thursday night and I had come to pick up Lukas from his football training. I had come early so I could watch them a bit, hoping they would be playing from goal to goal towards the end. They were and I could not believe my eyes. It looked like football. I saw passes from one player to another, I saw a couple of tricks when an attacker went round a defender, I saw running into spaces and even a few shouts of “Pass the ball” or similar. I also saw goals (and Lukas scoring half of them).

I know that is not unusual, that is what football is all about, but you have to understand that I have seen very little of any of the above in the few matches I’ve been to watch Stockport Vikings. There has been senseless kicking of the ball, very few intelligent passes, hardly any goals – at least scored by the Vikings! – and a general impression that very few of the players actually could play football.

But this evening it was a total different game to watch. First I thought I had gone to the wrong pitch, but I recognised first Lukas and the several others. It was them, but it just didn’t look like their playing. Standing in the cold, watching the boys having fun, I realised what made the difference: They were training on an astro turf pitch, but their games were played on grass pitches, where either the grass had not been cut for weeks and therefore knee high or the pitch had been turned into a giant mud bath because of the famous Manchester rain. Last Sunday I doubt a 4 x 4 could have made it across the centre of the pitch without getting stuck.

The players were the same, but the conditions made all the difference. Made me wonder if there was a lesson to be learned about church there? Maybe the lesson is that “the pitch” we let people play, or minister on, sometimes limits them by forcing people into fixed programmes or activities, or placing undue expectations about adhering to certain ways of doing things etc?

Last Sunday the Vikings did not play well at all. On the sidelines their trainers got more and more frustrated, and they let the boys know. Not sure of the pedagogy as they shouted after one, then another player, and at half time of the entire team. Is that what we do in church? We tell people of, we let them know they are not playing well enough, when really it is not the players, but the pitch that is the problem?
What if we concentrated creating the right environment? What if we released people to minister, not according to our expectations or needs, but according to their gifts and passions? What if we stopped focusing on the results and instead concentrated on the quality of the pitch/church?

Who knows, maybe we would experience a similar transformation to what I saw today?

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The Lord’s Day...

I didn’t go to church last Sunday. I don’t mean I didn’t go to our church because we were at some other church. I didn’t go to any church last Sunday. I’m not proud of it and I certainly did not feel good about it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go as such. Partly it was because I just was so far behind on my essay that I needed all the time I could get, but also because Lisbeth had to stay for a meeting in the worship committee, which would mean we couldn’t get home in time for Lukas to get to his football match. No matter what good or bad excuses I might have had, the end result was I did not go to church.

In my own defence I have to say I struggled with staying home. I felt I lost some integrity. I was the one who every Friday in Latvia for the first year had finished morning prayers with the phrase “The Lord’s Day in the Lord’s House”, admonishing people to go to church on the Sunday. I am the one who gets paid to travel round and talk about how important church is and how we can increase the health and quality of it. But I didn’t go last Sunday.

I was also worried that people might ask Lisbeth where I was. What if they heard I had stayed at home because I was too busy for church? What would they think? Would I not lose any credibility I might have had before?

After Lisbeth had left and I sat working on my essay I still struggled with having stayed at home. I ought to be in church. It is what you should do. It was what I should do, because that is what I always have told others. What would they think in the church if they found out? All these thoughts went through my head, when I realised that I was worried because I felt I ought to go and because of what people might think, but not for one moment had I felt I would miss something if I did not go. I was worried about my reputation, I did not want to be a hypocrite, but that was it. That surely is not how it should be. We should not go to church because we ought to (although a sense of ought is not always so bad), but because we want to meet with God. Because we would miss something of His touch, if we weren’t there. Because worshipping God with our brothers and sisters and experiencing God’s presence together is not just important or good, it is essential. But I didn’t go and I did not even consider I would lose out on anything.

It was a bit of a paradox that my essay is about small groups and about how important authentic Christian community is. And there I sat. Staying away from the community. Not heeding the words of Hebrews 10 about not giving up meeting together “as some are in the habit of doing”. Maybe it was true I would not get a lot out of it, but maybe I was the one who would have encouraged someone that day, as the writer of Hebrews goes on to say. Going to church is not just about what I get out of it, but also what I can give to others, how I can be of encouragement to others in their walk with God. As I sat there I realised I had forgotten that. Not just this Sunday, but for many Sundays, where I maybe had been physically present in church, but neither mentally nor in the spirit. But for the grace of God I realised I was in the danger of turning into a grumpy, not so old, previous preacher, who would sit on the back row, critical, negative and without any sense of the presence of God at all. How often have I said that we experience nothing in church because we come expecting nothing? And yet that was where I was. I did not experience, and I certainly was not expecting. And therefore I was not worried about missing anything. But I was really missing it, wasn’t I? Missing the point, that is.

Reality is that when two or three are gathered in his name, then Jesus is amongst them. And so, if I come to meet with him, to worship him, then he will meet with me. Does not depend on what else is going on around me. It is great when we come together in expectancy and experience God, but it depends on my attitude and my openness whether I will – that is not dependant on anyone else. And if I come open to God, sensitive to the promptings of his Holy Spirit, maybe I will be part of God’s blessing to someone else. It is not about me, is it? It is about God and it is about others. And the miracle is that when we concentrate on God and others, then we are blessed ourselves. But it shall happen unto us as we expect. That's was what Jesus said.

I would love to write more, but I have to get to bed now. You see, tomorrow morning I am going to church. I can’t wait to see what God will do.


PS!
I still haven’t finished the essay, even though the deadline was Wednesday. Sin does really carry its own punishment!

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A New Cycle

We all know that nothing really have changed just because we have entered 2009. At the same time it is also true that life consists of cycles, the most obvious is the daily 24 hour cycle, but there is also the cycle of the seasons, which fits into our yearly cycle. The advantage of thinking and even living in cyclic movements rather than linear is the opportunity for reflection and evaluation as you return to the beginning of a new cycle. You can look back at the cycle you have completed, reflect and evaluate; you can think of actions you took (or maybe didn't take) and consider the reactions they caused, whether they were positive or negative, whether you want to repeat your actions to see similar reactions or maybe vice versa. It seems like even God exists in this cyclic development; in Genesis we read "God said..." and created at the beginning of the day and then at the end of the day "God saw that it was good".

I would guess the idea of New Year resolutions come out of this cyclic pattern. I don't necessarily think they are a waste of time, just needs to be put into the right perspective and then translated into smaller cycles; it is not so much what you will do different/new/stop doing this year, but what you will do today and then reflect on it it tonight or tomorrow morning. Then you can do a new cycle and reinforce/alter/correct your actions of yesterday based on your experience.

Another thing where we go wrong with these resolutions is that we forget to differentiate between cause and symptom. Maybe I want to stop being so short tempered and make that my resolution, not considering whether short temperedness is a cause or a symptom. If we focus on the essentials, then many of the symptoms will be taken care off, wait for it........................all by themselves.

Looking at my life there are many things I would like to change this next year, but most of what comes to mind (whether that is my mind or the mind of people around me!) would probably be taken care of by themselves, if I would focus on the essentials and maybe also take it one step, or cycle, at the time.

I have therefore decided to only make one New Year Resolution. Quite a radical one though, if I actually keep it. It is very simple "In 2009 I will not open my computer in the morning before I have opened my Bible" (this includes checking e-mails on my Blackberry). My plan is to follow "The Workman's One Year Bible Reading Plan" which will take me through the Bible in a year (actually twice through all the Gospels, Psalms and Proverbs). I am writing it here because I know that some of you will make sure to ask me whether I am keeping this resolution, and you are hereby invited to do so. It is a simple resolution, but I believe the impact can be significant - a lot of other things will come all by themselves if this one falls in place.

I also have a plan, but this is not a resolution in the same way as I might decide to change it, but for now it seems like a good idea. For one of the topics in my studies the text book is "Conformed to His Image" by Kenneth Boa with the sub-title "Biblical and Practical Approaches to Spiritual Formation". In the book Boa outlines 12 Facets of spiritual formation and I've got this idea that I in 2009 will read, and maybe even study, one of these facets every month. The first is "Relational Spirituality" with the explanation: Loving God completely, Ourselves Correctly and Others Compassionately".

Sounds good, doesn't it? In the introduction paragraph he goes on to say "[By loving God completely] we become secure enough to become others-centered rather than self-centered, and this enables us to become givers rather than grabbers".

"Givers rather than grabbers" - that is certainly a symptom worth working for.

Happy New Year!

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Finalisation

We have just watched the New Year in Denmark over the internet. Usually we cannot watch Danish television over the internet, but tonight they had removed the block for foreign IP numbers so Danes in the diaspora could listen to the Danish Queen's New Year speech. Apparently Danish Television forgot to block the channel again, so we have left the "television" running in the kitchen all night.

We of course still have an hour here before midnight. Actually we have an hour and one second, as the last minute before midnight will be 61 seconds this year to adjust the clocks to the world rotation. Still have not decided what to use that extra second for. Wonder if you will be charged extra if you stay in a hotel tonight?

New Year's eve has not gone quite as we had planned it. Lisbeth's brother, his wife and daughter were flying over to celebrate it with us, but yesterday they called to say they all have got the flu and not able to come. There was not time to arrange anything else, so it has been Lisbeth, Maria, Lukas and me - but there was plenty of food!

It is a bit strange, it is so silent here. In Denmark we saw live television from the Town Hall at midnight and the amount of fireworks was incredible, but here there is of course no tradition for fireworks at New Year. We fired a few rockets a bit earlier, but there was nothing else going up into the sky. Strange, both for Denmark or Latvia.

Now we are just sitting waiting for midnight here in England. I had planned writing a long post about the year that is on the last lap, but I did not get round to it after a trip to Ikea and watching two episodes of The West Wing, maybe it will be tomorrow, maybe I just won't get round to it this year, or the next. This hour not only marks the last hour of 2008, it also marks the end of the -ation series of this blog. Don't know why I began it, but I am happy it is over.

Less than 20 minutes (and one second) before the New Year. The very final thing on this blog for this year is a wish for the small group of friends who come by this blog for a Happy and Blessed New Year. Look forward to meeting somewhere and somehow in 2009.

God Bless!

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Transmogrification

It seems like I am going to make it. This is my penultimate post for this year, just one more tomorrow and then I have reached the 50 (posts that is, no funny comments please!) and I will never again write a blog with an –ation header. Tomorrow I suppose I have to write a blog about the happenings of the year that is running out, so what do I write about today? We are still enjoying being on holiday, so the days are fairly uneventful and does not give a lot of material for writing. I could of course write a post about nothing (would not be the first time), but I can’t think of nothing to write about. I really should be reading instead of writing. I have a deadline for an essay in January, and I am far behind in my reading for it, but how can I post that? Facing this dilemma inspiration suddenly came to me: I will write about reading – at least it might make me feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. So below you will find a list of some of the books I have read during the year, with small comments about what I thought about them. There will be a quote from each book and finally I will grade it on a scale from 1-5, with 5 being the highest. You, my dear readers, will get all this for free! Almost like a present arriving late. Hope you will enjoy it!

Biblical Foundations for Small Group Ministry

(Gareth Weldon Icenogle)
This book was recommended by our lecturer on small group ministry and being eager to please my teacher, I got hold of it. The book has three parts: I. Old Testament Foundations for Small Group Ministry; II. Jesus’ Small Groups: Gospel Foundations for Small Group Ministry and III. The Church as Multiple Groups: Apostolic Foundations for Small Group Ministry.

This is actually the book I am reading at the moment and I am still only half way through part two, but it is really good, so I wanted to recommend it already. Everyone in church life knows small groups are important and vital. Everyone knows that healthy, growing churches have small groups and many are asking the “How?” question. How do we implement a small group ministry? How do we organise small groups? How do we find the right format? Before asking the How? Questions, we need to ask the Why? and What? questions. Why are small groups important to us and what is it we are hoping to achieve? This is what this book is about. It does not give a lot of directions concerning how, but does give a lot of reasons for why? and inspiration for what?

It is not a book you, or at least I, can just race through. On every page there is something to think and reflect about. Just the chapter on Small Group Leadership in part one is worth the price of the whole book for me and it is from there I will take a quote, or maybe two:

“Small group leadership is about becoming the whole person God wants each person to be. It is about becoming vulnerable to help others become more open, to help others change for the better, to hold others in the group accountable to improve their lives and lifestyles. Small group leadership is about the freedom to show emotion and share feelings; it is about drawing close to others in the group. Small group leadership is about developing and nurturing the freedom to see, touch and embrace. Small group leadership is about helping the group resolve their conflicts. It is about calling the group back into covenant relationship with God. Small group leadership is about building a stronger sense of family in the midst of broken relationships. It is about giving up control and about giving away resources. Small group leadership is about creating a home for others, empowering others to live their own lives, and equipping them to go away and help others” (p. 87)

“The theological meaning of leadership is formed out of the very character of God...God’s nature is to create humanity to take responsibility for creation and share dominion with men and women. God’s ultimate style of leadership is the empowerment and delegation of leadership to humanity...The Spirit of God at work in human groups is an empowering Spirit, a delegating Spirit, and a Spirit for the nurturing of shared and mutual ministry” (p. 88)

Rating: 4+

The Powers That Be

(Walter Wink)
A look at principalities and powers and how we should understand them in our present world. Wink does not have a charismatic or Pentecostal view of the subject, although he treats them with respect. Wink defines the powers as “the institutions and structures that weave society into an intricate fabric of power and relationships”, but goes on to say that these structures have a “personality” or “spirit” and if we want to change the we have to change their inner spirits as well. An interesting and thought provoking book. I think there are dimensions of the subject left out by Wink and I cannot fully agree with his thoughts, but there is a lot of good stuff to be picked up from the book. His approach is social action and non-violence and in those areas there is a lot to learn from the book.

“We cannot come to terms with our shadow except through our enemy, for we have no better access to those unacceptable parts of ourselves that need redeeming than through the mirror that our enemies hold up to us” (p. 171)

Rating: 3

Prayer Evangelism

(Ed Silvoso)
If Walter Wink is at one end of the spectrum, I suppose Ed Silvoso is at the other. Or maybe if Wink is predominantly green, then Silvoso is blue (this is NCD language, for those who do not know what I am talking about) and therefore I initially find him easier to identify with. The book is a practical look at how to change the spiritual climate of a city and it is very much about prayer (not surprisingly). Half the book is about 17 paradigm shifts Silovoso has identified that affects the Church and its relationship with the lost in our cities. The first is that there is One Church in a city, expressed through many congregations, and that the One Church should come together to spiritually reclaim their city. The book is full of illustrations, and maybe its weakeness is that the evidence brought forward primarily is anecdotal. That does not mean it is not true, but maybe it lacks a bit of credibility and depth. You cannot help being inspired and challenged by the book, both towards winning the lost and towards praying that they might be set free.

“Knowing the truth means experiencing the truth through a power encounter rather than the inconsequential intellectual assest we have made it out to be inthe Western Church” (p. 109)

“We became the best choice for the job the day God chose us. Let us walk according to his calling” (p. 235)

Rating: 3+

Total Church

(Tim Chester and Steve Timmis)
This is a brilliant book. It is not long and it is easily read. The subtitle “A radical reshaping around gospel and community” sets the tone. The book is an argument for we should not choose between the proclamation of the truth (gospel) and the living and sharing in community. It is a call both to the evangelical and the emerging church not to lose the balance. They highlight how social work only becomes evangelism if it is done with “gospel intentionality”, but also that “The truth of the gospel becomes compelling as we see it transforming lives in the rub of daily, messy relationships”. I was thoroughly blessed and challenged by the book, don’t really want to write more about, get it yourself!

“Most gospel ministry involves ordinary people doing ordinary things with gospel intentionality” (p. 61.)

“To say we should point to God and not his church is a false distinction if God’s purpose is to save a people for himself” (p. 103)

Rating: 4+

Post Charismatic

(Rob McAlpine)
Another easy read and very commendable. McAlpine addresses some of the excesses of the charismatic movement, both looking at the history of these and some of the present outworkings and especially how they affected believers. He realises that for some, charismatic is “a bad dream they want to forget”, but argues that we should not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Again a book that argues for balance., but specifically in the area of a dynamic faith and experience of God. It is a helpful book to learn about some of the renewal movements in recent church history, but also a challenge not to avoid the charismatic just because it has been abused.

“While some post-charismatics will be relieved to simply avoid the over-promising of what being a Christian can mean in this life, to miss out on the genuine activity of the Spirit, which can be explained only by the intervention of God, would be a tragedy” (p. 247)

Rating: 3+

Leading Change

(John P. Kotter)
Leadership is about change. A leader will always be a change agent and John P. Kotter’s book is about how to lead change. Notice it is not about how to manage or cope with change, but how to lead change. It is not a Christian book, but very worth while reading for any leader. It is based on Kotter’s research, which first was published in an article called “Why Transformation Efforts Fail”. Here Kotter list the 8 most common reasons why change fails. In the book he converts them into positives and outlines an eight stage process for leading change. Very informative, very enlightening and very useful. Kotter has also published “The Heart of Change”, “Creating Urgency” and also a fable “Our Iceberg is Melting”.

“Transformation requires sacrifice, dedication, and creativity, none of which usually comes with coercion” (p. 30)

“Nothing undermines the communication of a change vision more than behaviour on the part of key players that seems inconsisten with the vision” (p. 97)

Rating: 4

The Second Reformation

(William A. Beckham)
I was given this book as a gift in return for the promise of writing an article for a book. I knew about the book, but had never gone to the trouble of getting hold of it, something I regret after having read it. The subtitle is “Reshaping the Church for the 21st Century” and it is basically about cells and Cell Church, the Two Winged Church as Beckham calls it. Beckham puts forth a very compelling vision of cell life and especially Christian community. Reading I found myself again and again thinking: That is how it should be – that is what I want to be part of. Beckham not only casts a vision, but also presents a model for how to build a church round the vision. It is inspirational reading.

“Christ in the midst of His people is the one dynamic that can’t be duplicated in any other type of groups. This is unique. No other group expexts this, prepares for it, or claims it. Only oups that live in the presence, power and purpose of Christ as their intentional focus will experience the incarnate, indwelling, resurrected and living presence of Christ in their midst. These are Christ-groups just as surey as I am a Christ-ian” (p. 142)

“It is not the structure; it is the dynamic life of Christ Himself released in and through the small groups that makes the small group essential to the church” (p. 61)

“Large group worship provides a setting for inspiration, information, revelation and celebration. Small group community allows application, edification, incarnation and preparation” (p. 76)

Rating: 4+

Where do we go from here?

(Ralph W. Neighbour, Jr.)
A classic book on cell church that has been sitting in my bookshelf for more than 10 years, but I have never read it. I wish I had read it when I got it. It is more technical than The Second Reformation and to some extent you only need to read one of them and then I would choose the former, but this is still at very good read.

“There could not be church until there was community” (p. 109) (referring to the 10 days the 120 spent together between the ascension and Pentecost)

Rating: 3+

Leadership and the New Science

(Margaret J. Wheatley)
This is the best leadership book I have ever read. Reading it felt like coming home. Here was someone expressing and explaining things I had felt, but not been able to neither understand nor put into words. Wheatley theory is that the principles which governs science and physics also are the principles that governs human relationships and leadership (does it sound like something you have heard before, said about church?). It is not necessarily and easy read, but very, very inspirational.

“We need leaders to help us develop the clear identity that lights the dark moments of confusion. We need leaders to support us as we learn how to live by our values. We need leaders to understand that we are best controlled by concepts that invite our participation, not policies and procedures that curtail our contribution” (p. 131)

“Instead of the limiting thought that “information is power” they began to think of information as “nourishment”. This shift keeps their attention on the fact that information is essential to everyone, and that those who have more of it will be more intelligent workers that those who are starving” (p. 101)

“We are so needy of this resource (information) that if we can’t get the real thing, we make it up” (p. 99)

“Its (a system’s) stability comes from a deepening center, a clrity about who it is, what it needs, what is required to urcive in its environment.” (p. 83)

“As we struggle with the designs that will replace bureaucracy, we must invent organizations where process is allowed its varied-tempo dance, where structures come and go as they support the work that needs to get done, and where forms arise to support the necessary relationships” (p.70)

Rating: 5

The Appeal

(John Grisham)
Grisham finally returns to the legal thriller and there a few, if any, that masters that genre as him. While not reaching the levels of some of his other books, this is true Grisham and truly addictive reading. Grisham has always had a political edge to his writings, and it becomes very clear in this book. Maybe it would become even better if you live or fully understand the American legal and political system. Still even without it a very enjoyable read.

Rating: 3+

Time is running, and although I am really enjoying myself, looking through all these books again, being reminded of the truths I discovered in them and being inspired once again, I cannot get through the pile of books in front of me, but here are a few more titles and ratings for them:

Making Small Groups Work (Henry Cloud and John Townsend) Rating: 3+
The Complete Book of Discipleship (Bill Hull) Rating: 3+
The Missional Leader (Alan J. Roxburgh and Fred Romanuk) Rating: 4
Natural Church Development and Cell Church (Leslie H. Brickman) Rating: 3

If you are wondering how the title relates to this post, then it is all about what happens in me while reading these books, how they change my perception, understanding and hopefully ultimately me.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year and will also be my last (and 50th) post for this year. See you then

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