I never realised the possible consequences of blogging when I originally started. It is almost like what the Bible describes as “those you got to know as friends now comes as enemies”. It is quite scary and not wanting to push my luck and see what will happen if I continue to ignore my blog, I have decided to get up early on a Monday morning to write a post (I hope you all appreciate this commitment!).
What is it I am thinking off? Well, last Friday I spent quite a lot of time on the phone, trying to get through to the Inland Revenue. I have no idea how many times I listened to the message “Thank You for calling the Inland Revenue Service. All our lines a busy, but we will deal with your call as soon as possible”. You might ask who in their right mind wants to talk to the IRS, but horror stories in the office about what could happen if the IRS had not registered the fact we had a car at our disposal kind of settled that issue. So there I was. In the beginning I was reading a few mails while waiting, as time went on I pushed my chair back and planted my feet on the desk (beginning to feel at home here now!) and spent the time studying the walls.
Finally I got through. Before anything else they wanted to be sure of who I was: “Could I please have your National Insurance Number, sir?” (I am not quite sure she actually said “sir”, but have decided to give her the benefit of the doubt). I had my NI (National Insurance) card right in front of me, so that was no problem. “Your full name?” - fortunately I found that on the card too, so I was still OK. “Your address?” - “Date of Birth?”. I thought of cracking a joke about this getting a bit personal, or maybe asking her the same kind of questions, but experience have told me people at the IRS do not have a fantastic developed sense of humour, so I only answered the questions, knowing full well anything I said could, and probably would, be used against me.
I could hear her typing on her keyboard, wondering whether she was checking me, or maybe chatting with someone else, irritated that I had disturbed her. After a while she returned and now came a list of questions and answers I have tried many times after moving to the UK:
“Is that Henrik with ck?”
“No, H-E-N-R-I-K” I spelled out for her
“And Henderson?”
“No, Andersen! Like the author – Hans Christian Andersen – that is A-N-D-E-R-S-E-N”
I don't know what it is with my accent that makes people mistake my A for a HE, but it happens all the time.
She typed some more and then said:
“I am really sorry, but I cannot find you anywhere on our system!”
She did not say it outright, but what she was saying was: You do not exist! At this time I might even have fallen short of Decartes proof of existence: “Cogito, Ergo Sum”. I grabbed hold of my arm, just to assure myself I was not dreaming and half way expected immigration police to come through the door, arresting me for living and working illegally in the country, but all I could see was the DC looking suspiciously at me from his office.
I quickly got my feet of the table, tried to control my breath and managed to utter a weak and very intelligent “What?”“
I am really sorry, but I cannot find you using the NI number, nor on the address you have given me”
Well, you don't argue with the IRS and she was actually very kind, but she could not help me. I was given a number to helpline for non-existing people, but they couldn't help me either and so I was given a new number, but that office was closed for the day. It was over the weekend I realised that maybe this was the punishment for not updating our blog. Not wanting to take any chances I straight away started writing, and when I Monday afternoon got through to the office I suddenly had appeared on the system again. So there you are, not writing on your blog can have serious consequences.
Well, there is news to share, but I have now used a lot of space and time writing about absolutely nothing (and before anyone comments: Yes, it is just like my sermons!) that you will have to wait till tomorrow, as tonight is Champions League night with Man U on the telly.
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